In a single human life, a human is bound to make contact with at least 3 other humans everyday.
That includes your family, friends, colleagues, school mates, strangers and etc.

Most people are by default social creatures. I for one am not as i grew older, and am now defined as an asocial, monosyllabic and even aloof. I used to be called social butterfly by my secondary school teachers.The wheels have changed and i have mellowed down.

There is a simple reason for this change. Friendship is for mutual relationship or at most, for the sake of something. This is of course my definition of a normal friendship. I had friends who befriended me just for the sake of something they need or something they want from me. I can cite examples but feel no impulse to do so, because people are bound to meet these sort of people in their life.

During the recent festive season, i was burdened to buy presents for people, this was not from heart i must say. When a person buys for me a present, i am 'obligated' to buy for that person one gift as well. In a way, this vicious cycle of present giving never ends. In chinese saying, they always call it 小小意思. People no matter what seems to be obligated when you give them something. Recently i gave a treat to a friend, in turn, she told me, next time she would treat me. In this case, a treat is no longer a treat and it becomes a cycle once again. Do not keep an account of what happen between friends or then i would rather for us to be strangers.

Friendship for me only states these few thing. A friend is there for you, remembers you and knows everything. I have 3 very good friends, but the closest to me is one person that speaks my mind and knows every single little thing and keeps it close within him. I thank him from the bottom of my heart.

During some events, i got to know a person, a person i admired and was interested in. I tried to know the person, talk to the person and hope to make friends with person. Of course, these were the simpler parts. The hardest part was to forge the friendship. I did not know if i was either drawing too close or trying too hard. Both ways were equally bad. I lacked the etiquette to understand how relationships really worked. Trying to understand if the person was responding me just for the sake of responding or truly responding. I couldn't understand when was the right time to speak. I did not know anything. The person's response was at times cold, yet at times spontaneous. I never knew there were so much work to being a person's friend. I did want to give up but i was captivated by the person and the person's answers. I wanted to know more about the person yet was afraid to go closer for fear of withdrawal. I had once told the person that human relationships are never my forte. I hope the person would understand. It was a feeble attempt to justify my weak skills.

I sit here writing still awaiting.

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